Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Get out the stix

Preparing for Skiing by Columbia Ski Club

10. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.

9. Go to the nearest hockey rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car.

8. For ski boot simulation at home, put a pebble in your street shoes and tighten a C-clamp around your toes.

7. Buy a pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.

6. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $6.50 for a hamburger. Be sure to wait in the longest line.

5. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

4. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18 wheeler.

3. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. You'd almost believe you're skiing in front of a snowmaker!

2. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.

1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday.

A Skiers’ Dictionary,” by Henry Beard and Roy McKie, define skiing as “the art of catching cold and going broke while rapidly heading nowhere at great personal risk.” As humorous as all this sounds it is a fact most New England ski resorts are over priced and over crowed. If you ski in the East “you get what you get and you can’t get upset” same be said about the weather. Truth be told I have many fond memories of growing up skiing 93 Waterville, Loon, Attitash, Wildcat and of course I’ll continue to spend large amounts of money and time skiing the resorts with my kids but WHEN THE westerly fluff blows in it’s time to leave the wallet, the “packed powder” and long lift lines behind and ESCAPE into the backcountry. In the backcountry it’s not about the quantity of turns but the quality.

For some quality backcountry turns check out -

Skip the lift lines: classic backcountry ski and snowboard tours of Mt. Cardigan and Firescrew Down-mountain, backcountry runs are where Mt. Cardigan and Firescrew have gotten their reputation, making Cardigan Lodge a wonderland for experienced skiers seeking historic runs. Pick your pleasure – it is approximately three miles from Cardigan Lodge to the summit of Mt. Cardigan via the Duke’s Ski Trail (the first ski trail cut by the AMC), and only about 2.5 miles via the Alexandria and Kimball Ski Trails.” AMC

In my younger days when I was a die hard skier I would hike over from Cannon to ski Mittersill's backcountry trails – good times, good fun. Today, Canon Mtn has a NEW MITTERSILL DOUBLE LIFT projected to open early January 2011! I guess the secrets out.

Read Goodman's article, "Skiing the Classics”